The Fall

I see the leaf fall, touch the ground, disfigure and rot. But I knew it would happen, sooner or later. I have seen the plant grow into a lush green beautiful tree, comforting, appealing and furious at the same time. It doesn't surprise me one bit that I am a part of its evolution and still being a mere spectator with all my numbness. It shouldn't have been that way. The leaf shouldn't have seen me this way, letting it just fall and decompose.

Let me be honest with myself at this time. I did drop a few tears when the first one fell, when it called me for a rescue and one thing that held me back was myself, I could have done something, but what?  As simple and complex a question if I look at it. Many fell, I watched, plain, simple and may be obvious for me to accept it. May be I was getting acquainted with the self-evident shit. I had to..for my survival, my strength, my conviction in myself..upright and fighting against all odds...all conflicts. 
Somehow this last but one fall is a gradual renunciation towards something I call a deeper feeling within, a turmoil created and acted upon well or may be a bleary outrage....may be....
There is this last one, still green but wilting at the edges. Its relatively mature and invigorated..not shaken by the fall of others, but holding on...speaking loud that it would survive longer...longer enough to see me fall some day or night.

That, would be something unheralded, beautiful and immensely positive. Its a wish, an innocent, undiluted and honest wish...for all the worldly attachments I have inculcated within for every possible leaf, its a respect for all of them, for my life, my journey and death. No storm shall affect, no sun and no rain...I would be there, watching it ...guarding it with my hope, my belief so that it stays. The last doesn't mean 'the lost'. It just is a test of time, for both of us to be spectators of each others life.. as one of us will survive. One of us will live the end and love the end too in our eyes...with all that we had...for the moments and for the untouched feelings ...my last leaf...