So, where do we begin today. We shall speak of something different...especially after all those mind boggling talks, high-fi Science so as to say and the heavy-on-head discussions. I think I ought to switch gear. Hope so.
Every night before I go to bed , I ponder over few things. Very simple as they may sound... like 'what has made me smile today'..was that significant, was it for a while or was it long enough to make me crave for even more...
To my surprise I find that most of the times its trivial, irrelevant or insignificant things or even unrelated events that make me happy. Well that's not completely out of the box but yes smiling and being momentarily happy has become a concern in life looks like! Hence I am talking about it I guess.
The thing is, when we really run after a lot of reasons, people behind those reasons or circumstances which make us happy, we at most times by-pass these inconsequential events and ignore the bits and pieces of everyday life. My god! these pieces really make a big smile! As a child you never think of reasons which make you happy. You want it you get it or fight for it. Yes you don't question your beliefs, you satisfy your need. A need as simple as getting the latest bubble-gum in the market or collecting trump cards and showing off in front of your classmates. Oh I did that...it made me really happy those days. That's the beauty of growing up or the curse of growing old with experience may be.
If I actually know myself, I would say that a mere leaf which is just so 'green' makes me so happy that its beyond my comprehension. That leaf takes me through lot of emotions...the positivity of it growing, the vibrancy of that color, the freshness, the anger that it isn't really fit to grow there, among those weeds. Its a tremendous transformation from an indifferent human being to an emotional but not so illogical human being. I am simply amazed. I am not sure what does it take to really feel those things but it does have an impact.
On the other side, when you still want to be connected to the world; there is an equal urge to isolate yourself and go through every possible ups and downs in life. May be the leaf and I, where the simplicity and innocence of that naive living thing reminds me of my own childhood, could survive symbiotically. No man or woman would be allowed to dominate your thoughts. Only you and the beauty co-exist. We smile and fill our days with life and energy. What I feel is, its not easy to cling on to one thing and be happy about it or derive bouts of joy and smile. Its an unconscious effort that at least 'I' need to make to be as a child. Its not a day's job and the irony is ..we evolve..and this evolution is not slow. Its fast ..may be every hour, min or even second!
I have my illogical view points to laugh at, logical arguments to be proud of or artistic approach to my life ...its always mine. I would cherish every bit of it being eventful, dull or indifferent. But a day has to arrive which would call me a fool for letting go all those missing links, inconspicuous times, irrelevant people and illogical observations which could have made my life worth living. I don't know if that has arrived already or very near, I fear and at the same time I welcome it. I wait for it for my own good. For all that I am existing, for the love of being myself, I would embrace it and never let it die..there will be no night for such a day.
It would be 'Experiencing Beauty'...uninhibited.
