| She is silent and she had to be. Standing on the rocks enduring the midnight breeze isn't easy for her, but she still stands there just to see how much can she take and drink it all. She knows what is happening to her body and soul but she denies to see it and feel anything. It isn't meant to give her pain but a sense of achievement, a sense strong enough to make her smile at everything around. She knows she loves to hate things and hates to love even more. It didn't come naturally to her! It was through a journey, a kind which made her quite like 'she' is now. Everything is a first time sometime, everyone is a stranger at some point of time and she with all her consciousness knows it so well that now it doesn't matter anymore. How much or how little was never a question in her life..she just wanted to keep dilemma's at bay..but is it ever possible in life with all the womanhood she has! She decides to conquer all her fears when she is low, so low that she fears she might sink into it and just get lost in the nature. Its not a simple realization..its way deeper than I ever thought. Its subtle but dangerous...and who doesn't like adventure...and pain...She rather loves it and just stands there every night, either silent listening to her breath or whispering, getting aware of her existence or sometimes weeping...celebrating her victory over her fears... I know she will survive even though from my perspective I can see her at the brink of a crisis..she might fall off the rock and die..but that's just my way of seeing it..I am sure she isn't falling...she never was weak and she never will sink. I feel her strength when she just looks at me...blank, with dispassion and I get it...She is on her way fighting and moving fast...very fast. |
