The leaf is yet to fall..I had pictured something that it had fallen or I was atleast visualizing the fall in near future. It was almost there, near the ground because it had to reach there, only then could I have relieved myself of the misery. But then I didn't know that it was just flying low, its destiny is driven by purpose. A purpose so strong that it is beyond self or I might be mistaken and it is actually only self. My purpose was as honest when I seeded the plant as it is till now even though I might never grab the flying leaf.
Nothing had changed I realized just after few hours when I had convinced myself that things are different. Senseless it is, or pure insanity or for that matter my first clear conviction that what I felt was right and worth. The leaf looked dry from various angles, it started discoloring, rotting from edges I was so sure that its the end and I would pat my back and say that I witnessed the end and had the courage, but when did I know that it was just my vision which was wilting, a selfish vision that could only see what it wanted to. How am I supposed to feel elated about that when I sit and ponder !
The height of the tree, the direction of the breeze and the flying leaf, all seem to be distant, completely out of reach...out of my bound existence..how can a rooted human like me would admire a flying object or a feeling..or may be I should be the best example of a human who would sink into the pain of realizing the importance of freedom as I have the credit of seeding the plant and let it grow. In any case, there has been no death and hence there has been no fall. It is against a fall and it is yet to fall. I hope it will.. else my belief and respect would just make me sink into this rooted world.
I would water another plant with my tears, with all that I have and still hope the same growth and height but this time it might not be real, I might like to be the illusionist or a victim I don't know..I will figure out ..for the love of the idea..for peace.
Nothing had changed I realized just after few hours when I had convinced myself that things are different. Senseless it is, or pure insanity or for that matter my first clear conviction that what I felt was right and worth. The leaf looked dry from various angles, it started discoloring, rotting from edges I was so sure that its the end and I would pat my back and say that I witnessed the end and had the courage, but when did I know that it was just my vision which was wilting, a selfish vision that could only see what it wanted to. How am I supposed to feel elated about that when I sit and ponder !
The height of the tree, the direction of the breeze and the flying leaf, all seem to be distant, completely out of reach...out of my bound existence..how can a rooted human like me would admire a flying object or a feeling..or may be I should be the best example of a human who would sink into the pain of realizing the importance of freedom as I have the credit of seeding the plant and let it grow. In any case, there has been no death and hence there has been no fall. It is against a fall and it is yet to fall. I hope it will.. else my belief and respect would just make me sink into this rooted world.
I would water another plant with my tears, with all that I have and still hope the same growth and height but this time it might not be real, I might like to be the illusionist or a victim I don't know..I will figure out ..for the love of the idea..for peace.
