One in Many...or Many in One...

Why did I start my post again with two possibilities?....
Well most of the times 'Possibilities' are the ones making you alive or leave you questioning. 

A simple fact that Human beings experience two major but most common form of emotions..makes me think more and more as to why and How...The players I am talking about is 'Jealousy' and 'Envy'.
For the benefit of human mind and simplicity, they sound and feel very much similar and understandable but I am not aiming at questioning the simple way but finding out possibilities how complex can they be and make someone feel 'one in many' or 'many in one'..


I place myself amongst a sea of people, in a mundane life and observe that everyone's expression speaks for itself, I relate it to myself, either feel elated within or sad, unable to attain the state of so called Happiness. Does that mean 'I am Jealous' or 'Envious'..?

That, I would call 'One in many' where I consider myself as a 'non-living' entity amongst a lively surrounding but I am so much connected to the environment through their emotions, that I start correlating them to my Life and miss people not around me. So, basically I am in a social set up but I am what I want to be. Its not envy but jealousy....'I' am concerned about myself as well as the aura of goodness around which isn't quite attainable by me...
There is a very mild but inevitable distinction between the philosophies behind both..
Jealousy..the 'I', 'You' whom I admire or love and the third, the 'Rival'...


Even though we all are same forms of life, The positions of the three is highly dynamic and we find the emotions switching too...
Whereas, being envious will not make me realize that there is A beloved for whom I care and hence considered a Third as Rival in the Fear of 'Missing out' on something. If understood well in due course of time, it can lead to Jealousy and Ultimately to Indifference which is 'Peaceful'.


 In this conglomeration of varied emotions, complexities, simplicities and considerable amount of Human forms, I would find myself being 'Many in one' as 'I', 'You' and they will all mingle to One form..'The Formless' and 'Attainability'....

Love may be skin deep but 'Thoughts' are SOUL deep...

So 'Thoughts' sound like conception of a 'Child'...True isn't it..
Once upon a time an event happened, you were bearing it all this while, then it started becoming important, then inevitable and then Obnoxious...but you wanted to let it out and plant it somewhere else apart from your body, so it transformed it into something DEEP...sounds pretty weird but happens...


Now, having the consciousness that there is an existing feeling, the seed of the thought of the feeling and the retrograde events that led to these are always like a spider mesh!...either one wants to be entangled or wants to just destroy the mesh, clean it up and say..'hey was it ever messy'..!


Well the second scenario needs a little bit of exaggerated courage which you might not have but still you might like to try out, thinking that in the course of the fake attitude you may fit the bill and be the real YOU..the strong you ..
When thoughts are conceived like a child, it often is a joy initially as the conception and its due course is driven by extreme gay moments and 'love is skin deep' kind of aura...but if it is not like a child which is meant by the ones predominantly created or at least maintained well by you yourself, becomes a tough one to handle at a stage and the Deep Soul within you keeps calling for clearing up the Mesh...then is the time, when one needs to listen to that mild voice from within and just Follow...


Well, its not an easy job to even first differentiate a child-like thought and the self-planted one..but when you do...It will just be SOUL deep and not only Skin deep...!

A Tryst with TIME..

The Day I cried when I came out of my mother's womb, had spoken my first alphabet, crawled for the warmth of someone nearby...You were the one who embraced me like a friend. It was an unknown face, a strange gesture for someone like me who had never experienced the presence of a friend till then as I never realized you were there with me all along.


I grew up, fell down, went to school..compelled to stand out, be the best, but you never questioned why was I following it. Whom was I trying to satisfy. I smiled at you when tears were rolling down my cheeks, I knew you were the one playing prank all this while. I contemplated that I would take revenge but it always turned out to be an attraction rather than bitterness. 


The Critic grew in me, the expectations grew in others, parents smiled and you Too...where was I lost amidst the ocean of responsibilities, was I even thinking about Your presence?
I was lost, was trying to find a New Me..You came to my Rescue..
The hug, the pat, the blessing, the kiss..it was all you..I worked with a zeal to run behind you, slept with a relief to wake up new..It was all You..


My tryst with you since I imbibed feelings have been unquestionable, In the form of friendships, competitors and acquaintances..You were still at the corner with a smirk fooling me with Different shapes, phases and intellect. You are dynamic and so am I. I am a mere shadow of your presence..rather omnipresence..
My indulgence and renunciation is carved in my heart and mind...an etching till I die..


No matter how static I might be at a phase of Life, I would still love the way you are, the undissolved you..the Mighty You..

Divinity through My Senses...

Divinity- a personification, a strength or a faith in supernatural is perceived through various senses including the most powerful one, the sixth sense.
The aura of something to be experienced as divine can vary from an individual to another as the senses of each one stands significant for his/her own perception. The expression of it might be as skillful as a memorable speech or as powerful as the SILENCE itself.

Divinity through my eyes is  that tear drop which flows unexpectedly in a subconscious environment, a peaceful mind gives birth to a mere drop which engulfs all the expressions of the moment and just flows.
A temple, for instance doesn't attract me because of the religion per se but most likely because it is the place where some senses are so active to conglomerate my feelings and gather faith in a power much more than religion. 

Beauty and the vision behind the exploration of it and the meaning of its existence is equally divine. An interchangeable relation that beauty shares with Love, Life and Happiness is unquestionable. The goal of life and the sustenance of love, create an unusual sense which I find it arduous to even sense or categorise among any senses.

It might not be that I can write about divinity and explain it to myself whether or not it exists within me, but it surely is a form of expression and a feeling rather strong to let me clear my eyes to see what I should be seeing and a purity of thought leading towards the unexpected which stands on the way as I move ahead.
"Krishna is divine as it is a culmination of Spiritualism and Materialism". My existence with this belief is an answer to divinity.

Surrender..to?

Living the life of a child, without apprehensions or premonitions seems like a Surrender to Me. But a retrograde evolution of those emotions like that of a child, being an adult is a realization in itself.
The world around me seems to suffer with varied emotions, expectations, weakness and hypocrisy. At the same time it also exemplifies people with serenity, peace and the child-like surrender. Its a culmination of the conflicts as well as strength. 
Surrender, to me is an act of acceptance of situation, phases or an individual in the light of the context and philosophy behind each of them. You might get slapped on your face hard enough by life, its ordeals, your own foolishness but it would take courage to stand up and face another slap. Then, it would not matter as to how bad was the whole thing but the only perception which will matter is..'I survived'..and the joy you get from the idea is quite Child-like, not childish..
It should not be confused or related to being submissive, its rather a BIG  step towards a stand that YOU being Self-Centred can still surrender or can share a mutual relation with someone against all odds. Its a virtue to look at the glass every time and say, "its half filled because I drank the rest and it was worth it, I will fill it again and Drink it again till I exist"...
So, life seems to be beautiful with surrender to self, to your loved ones and to the Power or faith you have for the unseen, the nature around...its a new lesson to inculcate and imbibe the freshness of one's feelings...something like a kid.