It was little blue, may be a little red..I think more of a mixture of both. I could feel the air; pure and unpolluted. For a long time I was craving for such a feeling. There I was, in the middle of nowhere and on the top. I can narrate you a story of a my life in sixty seconds, or may be less than that. Its not surprising at all because things are in flashes, they are past..recent past, old memories, new dreams, all of them I guess. That is a moment you don't experience often. You are not there on top often you see.
What have I achieved? Oh ..thats a great question and I shall have a great answer delivered at your door step, well wrapped..in a box with no secret at all. But you cannot return that answer to me. Also it's priceless! The answer is everything and nothing. I know that..is not at all satisfying. Thats crisis. I will tell you a better story. Maya, my favorite girl from the next door is worth mentioning in my story as she is the lead actress in the drama and I take the backstage. I adjust things at the back but she is the one narrating and facing things.
Maya lost her arms in a car accident. She choose to live and not die in spite of all she had to go through. What about her parents? Uh well they survive but they cannot take care of her. They have injuries from the same accident which have made them forget their own daughter, forget each other, probably forget their own self. She for god's sake remembers her parents. Today, when I see her..I feel she was my best find ever to play the game of life and role of a woman. She uses her feet not just to walk but do more useful things like painting and sketching which fetches her money. You know there's some hope in life if you try hard. She was taken care of by an NGO ..thank god some NGOs work. She was given food and a shelter. She is alive to see her parents but they are in a old age home. Happy to be new beings, forgotten in this big world but happy in their own world. Maya had a gift and that gift was useful only when she lost a part of her body. Her gift is being hopeful and bigger gift is her art. She used to practice using her feet for art as a child. She had a habit of challenging herself, may be she foresaw her life? But she, after two years of inner war with her mind and body feels she is never too late to play a role in my drama. Today she acts in my theatre. She is natural. Her emotions flow. She struggles with gestures because she has no arms but its fine. She manages beautifully. Yesterday, we invited her parents to the play as guests. Maya was happy to act in front of them. We had organised an art exhibition for her too after the play. She is getting recognised in this world. She lost her arms but not her identity. Thank god...or thank Maya herself for that.
Well why did I start telling the story to you? Oh..it was a part of my memory..flashes, frames, scenes, emotions... I wish I was strong like her. I wish she was my shadow instead of me being hers. She calls me her life because I set the stage for her. I call her my life because my stage will not be set without her aura. She brings hope ..which I have lost it today. I hope she comes and stops me today. Its early morning..I hope she gets up, finds me and stop me. I think I need a push...I am in between the clouds and the sand. I think I will just take a step or wait for her? I hope she comes. I hope she saves me.
